I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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