Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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