its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
