I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
When are your genitals available?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
