my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
