Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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