Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
