He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
