I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
