Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
