FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we made out on top of his cat.
im holly from the hills drunk
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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