So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
