Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
