I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
