dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
