dude i'm inner monologue high
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
