Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
