The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize