Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Randomize
