Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
we should paint friendship bongs
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