Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
