I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
