oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize