google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
