you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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