Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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