you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
