We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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