do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
