Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
