How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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