Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
