you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
