Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize