I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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