I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
