I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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