I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
