I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
