If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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