I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
