Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
