Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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