Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
