Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I think I just shit out all my problems.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
