i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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