did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
