So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
