smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am midnight drunk by noon
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize