We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
