i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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