When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im holly from the hills drunk
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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