I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
