I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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