handjob tips. give me some.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
