i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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