Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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