Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
