Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
