I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
