No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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