Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
