Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
