her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
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