I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
