omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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