dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize