just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
