She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize