Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
