he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
