Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
