i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Please don't give away my fajitas
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize