I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
