It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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