And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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