your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize