Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
