Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
