I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
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