i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
