I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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