Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
