This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
