we're blogging at a bar
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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