Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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