Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize