I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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