i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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