Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
