Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
